Epilogue
Besides Laura and Sam, five other individuals perished in the December storm of 1989, one of them Joe’s highway rescuer. It took Joe the better part of a year to heal from his physical wounds, and more time than that to heal emotionally. He felt he could never forgive himself for Laura’s death. He was angry at her at first for leaving the vehicle at all, but as the pieces of the story began to fill in through the usual channels of small town gossip and local police reports, Joe began to understand better the events of that awful night. He came to the conclusion that it must have been Sam that had picked up Laura and the boys in an attempt to help them. An autopsy had revealed that Sam had suffered a massive heart attack and that is probably why he went off the road and crashed into the field. It must have been the glowing star on Sam’s barn that had drawn Laura towards his farmyard. She had died trying to save them all. Joe often wondered why she hadn’t left the boys in the car, out of the elements. But of course, if she had, they would have perished too. Somehow, she had known the right thing to do. Gradually, his anger slowly melted into gratitude that in giving her own life, Laura had saved the lives of her sons.
Joe struggled with his anger at God. Why hadn’t he prevented the terrible chain of events from occurring that night? Why did he let their car gel up in the worst cold of the season? Why had he let Joe be involved in a car accident, and why did Sam have to have a heart attack that night?
His anger and depression grew when Laura’s obstetrician had called him a week after Laura’s funeral and delivered the news that Laura had been eight weeks pregnant. Joe cried for four days. Cried for Laura who had died knowing another life would die with her. Cried for the child he would never know. And cried for himself that his family had been separated by death.
But larger than all these was the anger he harbored against himself. He had failed his family. He left them in harm’s way and it had cost his wife and their unborn child their lives. He could not bear the knowledge that his beautiful Laura had died cold and alone. He could not forgive himself. These questions and thoughts raced round and round in Joe’s tormented mind until one night when he was reading in Laura’s dog-eared Bible. He found a quote carefully copied there in Laura’s handwriting. It was by the great 19th century preacher, Charles Spurgeon. It read, “God is too good to be unkind, and he is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace his hand, we must trust his heart.” A peace had washed over Joe at that moment, and he knew that he must let go of his anger and trust in the almighty wisdom of his Creator. He still didn’t understand any of it, but he knew God did, and that was enough.
Matthew and Coty were treated for minor frostbite injuries, but faired amazingly well and were soon their happy, sweet selves, although they could not comprehend why Mommy was still “sleeping in the snow” and didn’t come home with them.
Joe eventually decided that living on the East Coast was pointless without Laura, so two years after the accident, he and his children moved back to North Dakota to be close to family.
It was late evening when Joe approached the stretch of I-94 where his life had forever changed, and he felt a knot growing in the pit of his stomach. Memories and waves of emotions welled up unbidden and he found himself pulling to the side of the road very near where their car and his wife had both died that fateful night. Laying his head on the steering wheel, tears slid down his face and he felt it all come back in such a real way that the emotional pain was almost unbearable. “Pretty star, Daddy,” Mattie’s voice exclaimed from the back seat. Joe lifted his head and stared at his now four-year-old son. Mattie was pointing off to the right. Shining in the clear December night was the brightest star Joe had ever seen. Its twinkling light winked and blinked so brightly that Joe was mesmerized. “Mommy’s star,” Mattie’s finished with a whisper. Suddenly Joe understood with clarity that Laura had not been alone that night. The Sweet Presence of a Loving God had been with her till the end and then had ushered her into His brilliant presence. Joe nodded silently as cleansing tears coursed down his face, and Hope began to push up tender shoots from deep within Joe’s battered heart.
The End
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